A place where I can live, breathe, talk and see

I couldn't help it.

Christmas made me happy.

Happy with the unexpected long holidays. Happy with the extra money :D Happy with the blockbuster movies played on tv. Happy with the laughter and happiness displayed on tv. Happy with the outrageous Christmas decorations all over the country. Happy with with the discounts. Happy with the joyful Christmas songs blaring in the radios..

So many little things made me happy during this time of year. I was literally brainwashed into happiness! But I don't mind. Because these good feelings are contagious, I tell you. :-) And I'm happy to infect everybody else with this happiness. :D

Merry Christmas everyone!

I wrote this as a note to myself. Men can't change. Whatever they say, whatever the excuses are, they just won't change -- and you just have to take it or leave it.

Men are like, .. Stones. You can't change the shape of a stone, especially with hard forces. You'll only break it, and it will left you with nothing. Sadness & loneliness, maybe. And hurting yourself along the way.

The way to change a stone, is with patience. Like water drips, everyday, for the longest time, but then you'll be able to see holes on that stone. Or you can shape the stone by chipping it, one soft thud at a time. And with patience, you will reach your goal. But never do it with full force.

Tonight I forget this golden rule. I know, and he knows-- that it's the best thing to do. But that stubborn mule brain of his got the better of him. As a result, disappointment ate me alive. And causing me an actual chest pain. :-( It reminds me how badly can emotional pain hurts your physical state of being. I forget that quite a lot.

Another problem is, can I accept him for what he is? Warts and all?

A gloomy Sunday afternoon, with dark clouds looming above the sky. I'm sitting at the bus, on my way to meet a stranger for some thing I want to buy (nothing illegal, I can assure you).

I keep my eyes on the small forest which stretch along the way from my suburban area to the city. And seeing those beautiful trees, I'm remembering Bintan.

Remembering the clear star-filled sky, and the magnificent giant trees which stand proud about 40m tall, stunningly and beautifully straight. The branches only show on the far top part of the tree. Before I don't really appreciate such a quality in a tree. It's very normal to me seeing straight trees, having lived my entire life in the island of Java, where teakwood is literally scattered everywhere; it makes all the canopied and widely branched trees of Singapore are stunningly beautiful to me. And with the average height of 30 meters and it's huge moldy branches spread out very dramatic and ever gracefully to shade any other lives below; it always reminds me of the most ancient and wise creature from the Middle Earth; the Ent.

But now I come to realize the value of straight trees I often see in Java. Especially the monetary value. In the old days, those giant straight trees can be easily cut down and carved into a boat for our brave Indonesian sailors to cross the limitless ocean. Or in the recent days, you can just have it cut down and smuggled it abroad for some hefty amount of money. It's THAT precious. But of course there's also an environmental value for such a big tree can absorb the average of 20.3 kg of carbon dioxide/ annum.

And back to the trees of Singapore, it makes me realize that all the trees here are just 'recently' planted. The Singapore government started their Garden City campaign from the 1960's; and that's when they planted all of these magnificent trees. And those trees are carefully picked for its easy maintenance, the beautiful colored flowers, the fragrant scent, the canopied shape, etc. Everything but its economical value. That's why the trees in Singapore are so much different from what I usually see in Indonesia, which obviously, everything is naturally grown. Or purposefully planted for its economy value. There are of course wee bits of planned landscape in the city planning, but I think it's not as advanced as in here (CMIIW). Here everything is planned, engineered, even a tree tucked away in the far corner of Woodlands, it was there for a purpose, and was carefully picked to serve that purpose. :D

I don't know why I get so excited talking about trees. I realized it since I moved here. Those trees evoke my amazement and curiosity. Maybe I was a tree in my previous life? A Bodhi tree which shades Buddha during his journey in finding enlightment? Or a very old creature of Middle Earth called Treebeard? :D

Just watched Amelia today, a story on Amelia Earhart. A bit of a sad ending movie, but that's not the point.

In this movie I saw how a real good partnership between a husband and wife works. The partnership between Amelia Earhart, and her husband and publisher George Putnam.

You see, Amelia was the "star", and George, as he humbly said, is a small grain of speckle in her constellation (or something like that.. :D). But in the movie it is definitely not like that. George was Amelia's rock, and her best supporter. He nurtured her, he contained all of her energy and directs it to better place. I think none of her achievement will be established without his support. And Amelia in this movie, was a very strong woman. One with a tunnel vision and a very strong will. And it took one hell of a person to be able to accommodate such a strong will and vision, and be able to contain it and direct it to a better place. And not once being shied away with his wife's successes. Because he's the one who helped her to make things happens.

He stands seemingly unseen in the shadow of her glory, but it's him who became the silent force that makes everything possible.

And THAT my friends, is a good partnership.

In a relationship between a husband and wife, there's no competition, not even about who make the most money or did most of the hard work. Because in a good partnership, it's all about supporting each other and nurturing each others passion so that together, they'll each grow to be a better person. Regardless who made the most money or who have done most of the hard work, because in the end, none of it will happen without the support of each other.

Well, I'm not really know if all those good partnership thing was only for the movie or it actually is like that. but anyways, it's a good inspiration nevertheless.

:)

Happy Saturday!

Back in the days, people sang songs not just about love; but about a city, or a flower, or an autumn leaves, or a piano, or an amusing bridge, or even about a very funny clown.

Nowadays people don’t write that kind of songs anymore. Most of the contemporary songs are all about hatred, frustration, depression, love, sex, body parts related to sex, or a broken heart. It's nice at times, but now it's getting boring. Does contemporary people really that self-minded and so unhappy they can't appreciate all the beautiful little things in life?

In that note I’ve made myself sound so ancient. Which I probably am. :D But I’m just too tired hearing songs about sex or anger or some sexual frustrations or body parts; or some songs with no clear meaning on the lyrics too.

What made me realize this is when I listen to Edith Piaf. I don’t understand a word she said, but I love her voice and I love the tunes, and that is all that matters to me. :D And the I look for lyrics of her songs, and it's a nice surprise to see that in fact most of her songs are about life, and whatever that touches her feelings at that time maybe, but definitely NOTHING on depression or hatred or body parts (CMIIW).

And then there's Owl City with their hit single Fireflies. That song really made my day. It's the most beautiful lyrics, beautiful tunes, and a beautiful video. And it makes me feel so happy just to listen to it. Link of the video is here, too bad I couldn't embed it to this post. :-S

Let's sing along then! :D

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance

A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

Leave my door open just a crack
(Please take me away from here)
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
(Please take me away from here)
Why do I tire of counting sheep
(Please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

To ten million fireflies
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell

But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

And this is the cute guy who wrote the song :D

I woke up this morning with a gripping fear that I can easily die today if God wanted me to. Well I know that we can die anytime, but when I woke up this morning, the thought just came to me. And it scares me so much I couldn`t go back to sleep. :( I still feel so sleepy, but couldn`t go back to sleep.

I feel so anxious. And scared. That simply ANYTHING can happen to me today. While I`m here, alone. My husband is far away, and my family is even further. :(

I don`t want to die just yet. :( I want to have kids first, and to be able to watch them grow up to be great person. I want to build a decent family life first. With my husband right by my side. And I want to set my life right first. To be a good, kind and generous person. And hopefully to be able to help as many people as
I possibly can.

While sitting by the window, watching the rain and sipping a cup of delicious lemongrass tea; I`m thinking of beauty. A woman`s physical beauty. A beauty that would last only for 40 years, the most. But most physical beauties would only last for 20 to 30 years.

On my last trip home I went to see my Grandmother, and had an annual family gathering. My Aunt told me that she once saw a picture of my Grandmother when she was young, so very pretty, and none of her descendants are nearly as pretty as she used to. My Grandmother just smiled sheepishly at the remarks.

And I was just thinking, having lived with such beauty for, say, 40 years. And getting guys` attention in a full span of, say, 25 years. It`s more than half of your life (I meant the 40 years part). And gradually have to part with all of those privileges.. Seeing the beauty and the attention wears off day by day, each time you
look at the mirror, and each time a single line of wrinkles adorns your pretty face.

It must have been very hard.

It`s a good thing that I`m not THAT pretty :P At least I wouldn`t have such a hard time parting with I don`t have in the first place. :) But anyway, it reminds me, that`s why we need to invest more of our time, money and energy on something that can last much longer. Like intelligence, a good personality, or health. Or
our state of mental peace; or raising kids with intelligence and a good personality. :)

Here I am, sitting at the bus stop and just watch the falling leaves. I didn't know that the movement can be so relaxing to look at. And having the chance to just dissolve myself in that simple movement, without thinking about anything at all, feels like a real luxury.

Or maybe I already too tense, at the edge of breaking out? I don't know.

Say, 50 years ago, people who thinks that watching fallen leaves to be a luxury, may be deemed as lunatics. But then, 50 years ago they know nothing of internet, or mobile phones, or budget airlines, or laptops, or facebook, or wikipedia; and the earth is still a large scary unknown universe.

But now, the world has shrunk, into whatever size depends on how big is your monitor screen. Mostly would be 17 inch then.

And the faraway countries, is no longer a twilight zone, but merely a universal playground where everybody can just hop in anytime they want.

Sometimes it amazes and scares me to see how fast the world has changed, even during my short 28 years of life. Everything is moving so fast, whirling, twisting, twirling, sucking, grinding, dragging everything and everyone into God knows what. But from the pace I see now, it doesn't seems like a good thing.

So it's nice to be able to just stop for a while, just to watch leaves falling, or lay at the beach and stare blankly at the horizon, or just sit by your window and looking the blue skies ..

And nothing would be better than Macy Gray to put everything in one lovely tune called Slowly.

Would it be so bad, if we just stopped for a while ..
And enjoyed the thrills we could all be still let the world just pass us by
But it's all hurry hurry run run there's no time for this
We want more and more got to win got to score so afraid of what we'll miss
And it moves so fast; nothing lasts
This too here will come to pass
Wanna spend my days away from all the fuss
Wanna spend them with you baby but you're in a rush

Slowly
Why can't we just take our time
Slowly
I wish that we could take our time ..

A beautiful short movie that I'd definitely have to share with everyone. :) Remember to love your parents people! :)



via http://goodlorax.blogspot.com/

Most of my friends knows that I'm a sucker for romance stories, and a bigger sucker for happy endings. Therefore, Harlequin is the best source for the combination.

And there's one time, when I really gets so excited by reading these novels, and I honestly CANNOT stop reading! My "best" record is to read 10 novels within 2 weeks. So I feel a bit worried about my well-being, and posted a question on Yahoo! Answers.

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Does reading too much romance novels can be bad for your mental health?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

And here's the best answer :

if you keep a good sense of balance between reality and fantasy, you don't have to worry about your mental health. Romance novels can get your expectations very high when it comes to REAL relationships, and at the end all you'll end up with is mere disappointment.

It's like this thing with a friend of mine, she is a HUGE romance novel junkie. Her latest obsession was the twilight series. the novels have gotten her head way up in the sky. She's got freakishly high expectations from guys she dates. her relationships never last for 2 weeks. She's always dumping guys because they don't measure up to her standards and expectations. the last guy she dumped didn't "have enough Edward in him" (edward is this illogically romantic/great looking vampire from Twilight)

The reality is, what happens in the books stays in the books. Keep urself grounded and u'll be just fine.

Ah, good to know that. :)

And here are some other interesting answers :

Missy-E :
after reading twilight i expected the guy who liked me to be as beautiful confronting and mind blowing !!! but i was so sad when i realized he wasn't.

then i was reading lovely bones (where a girl my age dies) and now i am petrified o dieing. i even wrote out a thin to say what song i wanted at my funeral and stuff.

lol. books mess with your mind. they can either make you very happy or very sad
but they are inspiration ...

veronica_marvellous :
I doubt it, but it certainly doesn't seem to do much for your grammar. LOL! :D * blush * what can I say? :D

Chthonian :
I don't think it hasn't any impact, whatsoever, on your mental health. At the MOST, all I've noticed is women who read romance books have higher standards. But I think it's good that women expect a man to sweep them off their feet, it makes them hold out for Mr. Right.

P.S. Trust me Hun, you're not the only one with that guilty pleasure.

Ever wonder how to actually understand the sophisticated coffee titles in your favourite coffee house's menu? Well worry not.
Here we have a very good graphic explanation on what's in each of your cup of coffee you ordered. ;)

Enjoy!



via http://blog.nest-living.com

I found this video a few days after Indonesia's Independence Day celebration. My latest inspirational video.

Too bad for those of you who cannot understand Indonesian, because this speech is truly a great inspiration (which I'm too lazy to translate :D). The strong and determined voice of a great hero, burned the spirit and stirred the blood of all Indonesians, calling them to fight till they die, for it's better to die rather than being a mere puppet for another country.

Ah, so I guess they all died for nothing then ..?
:-S

Today, once again, I was being reminded that human is thoroughly helpless. We can only pray, and hope, and keep a good strong faith on whatever it is that you want.

And let God do the rest.

A few days ago I was so worried, about him, about his father, and how it will affect him, me, us, and it makes me even more sad and worried when I saw him so sad, restless and seems to be holding such a huge burden, but there`s nothing I can do to relieve his agony. I feel so helpless and I keep on wondering when does all this will end and how it will affect our future plans, for it will.

But then, when I already lose faith and prepare for the worst, suddenly everything is getting better.

Rapidly!!

I just can`t believe it, and all I can do is whispering my thanks and gratitude to God.

Really, all you need is a strong faith and a great deal of positivity and everything is going to be alright. :D

But even that simple task is pretty heavy for my insolent soul. Because we humans never know what`s good for us even if it was slapped into our faces. It shames me in seeing how impatient and narrow minded I can be some (most of the) time. :-S

But now that things are looking good, I`ll just keep on praying that it will stay like this for quite a long time.

Thank you God. :)

I don't have time to do this!

Jeez, that's the lamest excuse I have ever heard. And I hate hearing people keep saying that. You always have time for everything if you really wanted to, and if you at least try.

I don't do excuses and nonsense. I just try to do the best that I can. No excuses. No tai-chi's. But apparently everyone here is so good at it. I've never work in a place like this in Indonesia. But in my pre-Singapore experience for 5 years, I've never seen office tai-chi's being practised almost shamelessly. :-S

This morning at the bus on my way to the office I was reading "How Jane Won" by Sylvia Rimm. And I'm so inspired by those fabulous women and how determined are they to reach for whatever they wanted no matter the obstacles. The book is a compilation of 55 short stories on how they can achieve their current position. My favorite quote is from Shelley Berkley,

"Life is based on faith, but if you believe in youself, and you know what is important to you, you're going to be okay".

Awesomeee .. :D
I read only up to the 5th story, but when I get off the bus, already I feel so determined to do the best that I can do, and to work really hard to achieve what I want.

But then, when I get there, and reality hits me like a ton of bricks ... I've to admit that I do feel disappointed.

So, the question is, between tai-chi practitioners and hard workers; who will most likely to succeed?

So here is my list of the things that made me happy. Actually this list should went further down, but I limit it to the things that made me INSTANTLY happy. :D

1. The tinkling sound of children laughter
2. A cub (puppy, kitten, hamster, bunnies; anything!)
3. A dark rainy morning on my day off, so I'd have more reason to go back to sleep
4. Start reading a new book
5. Cold wind blowing on a warm day, and I just gaze at the trees and the skies, dangling my feet :)
6. The sight of trees
7. Smell of rain
8. The smell of my husband; his embraces and his loving words
9. View of the horizon, when the ocean met the sky :)
10. An unexpected sincere helping hands when I really need it
11. The smell of the ocean

A very beautiful song. :)

and sing along with the lyrics here

Don't' you just LOVE this picture? I know I do.

It evokes so many of my childhood and current dreams. I'd definitely buy this if I am as rich as Warren Buffet. :D
Anyway, this is a winning entry for Seastead’s first design contest.

Click here for the complete article.

Having lived away from my family for 14 years, still it doesn't turn me into a goodbye expert.

I still hate goodbyes, I still have and hate the empty feeling deep inside at the corner of my heart, and I still feel all teary-eyed.

And now, having to go through with it every month, is even more painful than usual. I thought I'll get used to it. But I was wrong. *sigh* It makes me want to stay with him even more. And misses him even more. And I seriously wondering how can my sister & my best friend manage to go through this for years .. :-S


*Or maybe this is it just my hormones talking .. *

Last night Poker Faced singer Lady GaGa picked Mika up

I never thought I would bitch over some celebrity, but apparently I'm doing it right now.

Today I read some annoying news at the blogosphere. Lady Gaga was spotted hanging out with Mika !! Gosh.. Can't he find somebody much cooler than Lady Gaga?

I really can't put my finger on it, but it's just feels wrong. Maybe not personally, bcs obviously I didn't know both of them. But musically.

I think Gaga should just hanging out with Paris Hilton and the likes of her. Or with some other blonde glamorous singer. Or with some rock band guy for all I care.

But not Mika.

Mika hanging out with Gaga, it feels like the Little Prince is hanging out with Bart Simpson. It sticks out like a sore thumb.

It's just not right.

You see, the Little Prince should hang out with ... Mm.. Charlie? (from Roald Dahl's Charlie & the Willy Wonka Choc Factory), or Huckleberry Finn? And Bart should just hang out with Ren n Stimpy.

Just my 2cents. :P *love you Mika!!!* *blows kisses*

:D

But I do wonder about that little plastic green pouch he's carrying.. What's in there?

I know this is just the beginning for me & him. The beginning of our life together. Whatever the future has in store for us, we will hold hands, be strong for each other, grow, and we will fight together.





As one.





Facing whatever life's challenges ahead of us.

I have a dream. For me. For him. For us.

My dream is so big sometimes it scares me. What if I can't fulfill that dream> What if I failed? What if I ended up having to run ther course of this rat race, until the day I die?

I have a dream. And I will try my hardest to make it come true. And if I failed, I won't regret it, because I already tried my best.

See the background? A lovely hill. Perfect!





Again, pay attention to the background.. :)





Imagine having this blissful view outside your window everyday in your life?



I love the cabbage planter. I might want to make a bigger planter box though ..



Water catchment area and a fireplace. Perfect!



Amazing view! And you could just roll your way to the lake!! *sigh* I'm in love.. :P



A long and winding road to the house, a chimney, and a perfect hillside location .. :) I couldn't ask for more. :)

Or course you can take a peek at the original posting here (http://www.studiohousedesign.com/landscape-room-lid-architecture/), after reading my obsession about the house.. :D

Since I woke up this morning, the news of Michael Jackson's death has been blaring from every media I tune in to. And it's the major topic of every conversation I made with people today. And then I heard about Farah Fawcett's death too.

I don't really feel sad at first, because I don't really liked both. But after being bombarded by the news all day, and people saying how sad they are, and how they have lost their life-long idol and a music genius and stuff like that, I kind of getting carried away and feel a bit sad also.

Or maybe it's because of my PMS. :P

Climate change hurts China's poor from Greenpeace China on Vimeo.

Please take your time and see this video. Just a little reminder of that every irresponsible action you take, it will affect others in every corner of the world, maybe even these people in the video.

See the complete article here http://www.treehugger.com/files/2009/06/climate-change-development-hurting-china-poor-video.php

This is a very valuable and easy to follow 7 precepts to live a green life by http://www.dothegreenthing.com/

1. Walk The Walk; You get from A to B without any C. Walk as often as you can. Or if it's really unbearably far, take public transport.

2. Easy On The Meat; It’s delicious but it causes more CO2 than cars.

3. Stick With What You Got; Resist the urge to buy the latest trends/ products and only buy what you REALLY need.

4. Turn down the central heating and turn up the Human Heat; or if you live in the tropics like me, try to manage to live with a fan and reduce your AC usage as minimal as you can bear.

5. All-Consuming; The art of wasting nothing and using up everything

6. Stay Grounded; Instead of jetting your way around the world

7. Plug Out; Don’t leave it on or even put it on

A couple of minutes ago I just erased my Friendster account. And a couple of months back I already erased my Coroflot account.

I can say that I feel really relieved. :) I want to limit my WWW exposure to a certain limit where it really necessary, and well taken care of. Like this blog, and my tweets. ;) And I want to make sure that I DON'T have any idle accounts.

But one thing that's bothering me, why Friendster is using the term of "Cancel Account", instead of "Delete Account"?

Last weekend I bought this pinhole glasses.


I accidentally bumped into this glasses 2 weeks ago, when I was waiting for a friend, and I decided to waste my time at Daiso, looking at all the cool and quirky Japanese's answer to all of our life's needs.

And then I saw the glasses. Attracted by the ridiculous solid black plastic with evenly-spaced tiny holes replacing the lens, I start trying it on and read the back package. It says that the glasses can be used for an eye therapy to reduce far-sightedness, near-sightedness, astigmatism, and the likes of it. :P Having already promised myself to live lightly, and not to waste money on things that I'd only neglects after 1-2 times of using; I decided not to buy it that instant, but to research some more about this peculiar pinhole glasses, and make sure that it really worked.

Turns out that it is true! This glasses is a very cheap and non-evasive way to improve your eye sight. You don't even need a prescription to get one of there (I bought it at Daiso, remember? :P :D)

At the first time I wear it, the subtitle words on tv which usually looked blurred from afar, suddenly became clearer and sharper. :) But when I use it to read a much smaller text on computer screen, I can feel my eyes is working hard to focus, to get the clearest image for me. It gives sort of a giddy feeling on my eyes. Not the sort of feeling that I like, but I guess I have to take it since it's an important exercise to keep my lazy eyes well trained to focus. :P

But keep in mind that this pinhole glasses tends to block your peripheral vision so only use it when in stable environments. Do not use it while driving.


Me and my pinhole glasses(above).

So I guess I will try to religiously wearing this glasses for at least an hour a day, or whenever I watch tv or working on computer (at home), and I will post about the result within 1 or 2 months. :)

More links to enlightened you about this fabulous invention :
- Wikipedia
- Myopia.org

I am LOVING this song !!!! :*:* Let's sing along !! :D

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Heard you’re New in town
Want someone to show you round
Well no-one knows this place just quite like me
Well I don’t, hang with the crowd
Where I go, were dressing down
I’ll take you where the music plays for free
So don’t be lie on people you meet
Cause no-one is safe in these streets

I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a good time
I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money but we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a real good time

What I do, you think so far
Is it all your hoping for?
Does it live up to your every dream?
Or do, we disappoint
While you make the choice
When you wake up can you hear a scream

So don’t be lie on people you meet
Cause no-one is safe in these streets

I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a good time
I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a real good time

Cause I know how it feels to be alone
When strangers only make you feel apart
You never, ever felt so far from home
You never felt so far from home

I’m gonna take you out tonight
Im’ gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a good time
I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a real good time

I’m gonna take you out tonight
Im’ gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a good time
I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a real good time

In Singapore, the position of foreign workers amongst the Singaporean society are a bit enigmatic, if not difficult. Singapore needs them, definitely. Since there's no Singaporean who'd like to trim the lovely 3318 hectares expanse of grass of this Garden City, nor laid brick by brick in a construction projects, or take the leaves & garbage out of the water reservoir's canal trap-gate soon after a heavy downpour rain.


It may seems like they were doing a measly job, but without them Singapore wouldn't look as effortlessly squeaky clean and well maintained as it is now. It's the small details that creates vast differences.

And on one sunny and windy day, on my way to the city, I saw a group of dark skinned man wearing red shirt & a safety vest crouching at a vast expanse of a well trimmed grass. That patch of land, was in the middle of nowhere. In Indonesia it would be just an unkempt government land, grow wildly and occupied with God knows what. But here, even the most remote piece of land is apparently, very well kept, thanks to the ever hard working and diligent foreign workers.


And it strikes me, that those guys looked very much like the Oompa Loompa. Physically & philosophically.


Oompa Loompas are the most devoted caretakers of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory (from Charlie and the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory, written by Roald Dahl, my favorite writer :) ).

They're the factory worker, the entertainer, the cleaner, the guard, the gardener, the taster; everything! However invisible they are (because of their petite size) there's no doubt that they're the life and blood of Willy Wonka's factory.

And Willy Wonka pays them with nothing but chocolate. Because apparently, the Oompa Loompa worshiped chocolate.

Compared to the situation in our world, where as the only thing that these 'Oompa Loompa' (and the rest of the human kind) ever worshiped, is of course, the greatest God of all - money :)

The question above, I posted on Ask Yahoo!. I love Ask Yahoo!. I can ask just about anything, got an amusing answers along the way and boy I do have a lot of questions.

So, I just want to share my best answer by a guy called ieguy.

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Actually, yes, penis size has evolved over time - that's one reason why humans have the largest one in the primate world.

Your statement, though, that Darwin somehow said that humans are evolving into something more appropriate to modern technology is in error. Natural Selection doesn't work that way. If human females, however, begin to preferentially choose males with larger, smaller, purple, crooked, or whatever penises and thus provide a selective advantage to such males that they leave more descendants - then that would drive a change in genotype and thus likely in phenotype and thus you would have a change.

Of course, don't forget that the female would also be under selective pressure for changes in their genitalia as well - it would have to be able to accommodate those crooked, larger, etc., males. (Males would have to accept and be willing to mate with any such females as well) AND the young they have would have to have a selective advantage come the next generation and so on.

This list is compiled based on my limited personal experience, and my 4 hours of reading Mars and Venue Together Forever (John Gray, Ph.D)(up to page 116 :D). I will read some more, and if there's any other interesting points I will subsequently update the post.

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1. If he emotionally withdraws from you, let him. Just make sure when he's back to normal again, you're there to greet him w/ a beautiful smile & an open arms.

2. Always appreciate whatever he has done for you - even the smallest favor - and make sure he knows. So he'd also know that he makes you happy. This exercise is very easy. Just pretend that you're with a dolphin and you must give him "reward" (in this case is appreciation) each time he does a trick for you. :)

3. When you feel overwhelmed and tired and need to complain and and nags your mind out, do warn him first. Say things like, "I had an awful day, would you take a few minutes to just listen? You don't have to say anything and I will feel better!". By saying things like this, you give your man a chance to just relax and listen to your problems and thoughts without actually needed to give us any solutions. Because we want him to understand, and not to give us unnecessary solutions. If you didn't warn him before, he'd be unprepared, and all he'll give you is his natural reactions of giving solutions. Which we don't need. Or worse, he'll feel that he's the source of your problems and unhappiness and will get defensive in the end. And the supposedly "nurturing communication" sessions will go haywire. :P

4. Understand that when a man flicks through tv channels, it's his way to relax his mind. So let him.
Also any kind of physical activity is a good exercise for him to channel his stress. And when he's back, he'll be a much better man than before. So just let him.

5. Never obsessively ask him about his seconds by seconds activity, and constantly check/text/call him on what he's doing. There's a limit on this, on of course there are also the special circumstances, so just watch it.

i haven't open my Facebook account for a few days. I usually only open whenever there's somebody added me as their friend, or if there's anyone commenting on my pics or on the pics that I already commented on before.




Anyway ..




Just now I checked on my FB account. And at the first page, is of course, the status updates from my friends, and their latest picture uploads also.


And I feel a bit depressed. *sigh*


To know how your friends are doing, well yeah, that's good.
To know how well your friends are doing, while you're still sitting on the same lump from last year, well .. that's not so good.
To see that your friends are hanging out together without inviting you, well, that's not so good either.

I know I may sounds like some ungrateful green eyed jealous monster.. which I probably am. :D But I just can't help it.

And honestly, I still don't understand how people can get so addicted to Facebook.



Is there any social networking websites out there where I can simply count my blessings and constantly reminding me to be grateful for what I have ?

I heard this song on the radio today, and loving it! :)

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And if I could swim
I'd swim out to you in the ocean,
Swim out to where you were floating
in the dark.
And if was blessed
I walk on the water you're breathing,
To lend you some air for that heaving
Sunken chest.

'Cause they chose you
As the model
For their empty little dreams.
With your new head
And your legs spread
Like a filthy magazine.
And they hunt you
And they gut you
And you give in.

And if I was brave
I'd climb up to you on the mountain.
They led you to drink from their fountain
Spouting lies.
And I'd slay
The horrible beast they commissioned
To steer me away from my mission
To your eyes,
And I'd stand there
Like a soldier
With my foot upon his chest.
With my grin spread
And my arms out
In my bloodstained Sunday's best,
And you'd hold me
I'd remind you
Who you are...
Under their shell..

I'd walk through hell for you.
Let it burn right through my shoes.
These soles are useless without you.
Through hell for you
Let the torturing ensue.
My soul is useless without you

And if they sent a whirlwind,
I'd hug it like a harmless little tree.
Or an earthquake,
I'd calm it,
And I'd bring you back to me,
And I'd hold you
In my weak arms like a first born.

I'd walk through hell for you.
Let it burn right through my shoes.
These soles are useless without you.
Through hell for you
Let the torturing ensue.
My soul is useless without you (through hell for you)

(through hell for you) without you
Without you (through hell for you)
Without you (through hell for you)

Now, I've walked through hell for you,
What's an adventurer to do
But rest these feet at home with you

I saw this uncle yesterday, on the bus. He slept. But what's so interesting is that, the handle of his glasses and his eyes are actually in perfect align, forming one horizontal line stretching across his face, EXACTLY as in my sketch! :D And his glasses is the frameless type, only with black handles on the sides, and obviously, the black line of his eyes.

I thought I could only see this kind of imagery in cartoon characters. But now I found what inspires it! :)

I love watching people. My Dad has the same (annoying) habit. :) I guess it runs in the family. :P If it's not because sometimes it would be considered as rude, I think I will make a serious hobby out of it. You know, like bird watching. But this is people watching. :D Or is it human watching ?

These characters are mostly picked when I am most bored. And have nothing else to do besides, well, watching people around me. So it doesn't have to be the weirdest looking/ dressed people, if they were dressed for the occasion (art performances or some sort), well, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. I'm not saying that there's something wrong with these people I featured. It's just that, at that fateful moment, these people gives a little tug in my heart, and draws my sudden interest to them. :)


Anyway ...


Now I will make 1 serious step forward. Well, I think it's 2. 1, is to record it (I hope nobody would sue me for this :-S this is for entertainment purposes only .. :P) And 2, I'm publishing it, here. :D

And for occasions where I cannot snap at the object of my interest, I'll do a little sketch. :D

So here's the first entry.

An old lady I saw on the bus, with purple cotton-candy like hair, purple blouse in flower pattern and I swear she smells like candy!

"It seems to me now that the plain state of being human is dramatic enough for everyone; you don't need to be a heroin addict or a performance poet to experience extremity. You just have to love someone. " -Katie Carr, "How To Be Good" by Nick Horby

Some part of my body, somewhere near my heart (which not actually my heart, because I know it's in a perfectly healthy condition), is aching.
A simple sorry would mean the world to me..

But no, such word is like a myth. Maybe the man has never heard of it. Or even know what it means. Or what it means to me. If he ever cared about me.

And it hurts. And it hurts me more when I saw him right there and act all innocent. It hurts so bad but there's nothing I can do.

:'(

Can anyone refresh my memory on why would I go to such length as falling in love? On taking the risk of loving, at the same time you also have assigned yourself to the exclusive experience of pain. And not just the usual kind of pain. If feels like something (or somebody) is ripping off some part of your internal organs in the upper abdomen area. Damn it hurts ..

:'(

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Kami yang kini terbaring antara Krawang-Bekasi
tidak bisa teriak “Merdeka” dan angkat senjata lagi.
Tapi siapakah yang tidak lagi mendengar deru kami,
terbayang kami maju dan mendegap hati ?

Kami bicara padamu dalam hening di malam sepi
Jika dada rasa hampa dan jam dinding yang berdetak
Kami mati muda. Yang tinggal tulang diliputi debu.
Kenang, kenanglah kami.

Kami sudah coba apa yang kami bisa
Tapi kerja belum selesai, belum bisa memperhitungkan arti 4-5 ribu nyawa

Kami cuma tulang-tulang berserakan
Tapi adalah kepunyaanmu
Kaulah lagi yang tentukan nilai tulang-tulang berserakan

Atau jiwa kami melayang untuk kemerdekaan kemenangan dan harapan
atau tidak untuk apa-apa,
Kami tidak tahu, kami tidak lagi bisa berkata
Kaulah sekarang yang berkata

Kami bicara padamu dalam hening di malam sepi
Jika ada rasa hampa dan jam dinding yang berdetak

Kenang, kenanglah kami
Teruskan, teruskan jiwa kami
Menjaga Bung Karno
menjaga Bung Hatta
menjaga Bung Sjahrir

Kami sekarang mayat
Berikan kami arti
Berjagalah terus di garis batas pernyataan dan impian

Kenang, kenanglah kami
yang tinggal tulang-tulang diliputi debu
Beribu kami terbaring antara Krawang-Bekasi

Chairil Anwar (1948)
Brawidjaja, Jilid 7, No 16, 1957


[Krawang-Bekasi]
--translated by Burton Raffel

We who are lying, now, near Krawang-Bekasi,
We can no longer cry out “Freedom,” no longer lift our rifles

But who cannot still hear our moans?
Still see us marching forward, unafraid?

We speak to you out of the suspended silence of evening
When the chest feels empty, when clocks tick away time

We died young. All that remains of us: bones covered with dust.
Remember, remember us!

We’ve tried, done all we could
But the job isn’t finished, is hardly begun

We’ve given the lives we had
The job isn’t finished, no one can count up, still, the meaning of four thousand,
of five thousand lives

We are only scattered bones
But they belong to you
And you will decide the value of these scattered bones
Either we died for freedom, for victory, for hope

Or for nothing.
We don’t know, we can no longer say
Only you can speak, now

We speak to you out of the suspended silence of evening
When the chest feels empty, when clocks tick away time

Remember, remember us—
Let our lives live on
Guarding Soekarno
Guarding Hatta
Guarding Sjahrir

We are corpses
Give us meaning
Keep watch over the frontier between reality and illusion

Remember, remember us
Who survive only in these bones covered with dust
Thousands of us, lying near Krawang-Bekasi.


．Burton Raffel, ed. & trans., The Complete Poetry and Prose of Chairil Anwar,
Albany : State University of New York Press, 1970, pp. 126-129.

It strikes me this morning, while I'm doing the Spa layout while glancing at google thinking of what I want to read and search today, and absorbing my drifting thoughts and chatted online with my hubby and friends *yes, I am a multitasker, and a good one, that is ;)*. And it strikes me that I need a new camera. A pocket camera with a good wide angle.

YES.

It's just that I'm reminiscing my GoodLorax blog, and thinking what a nice photo objects we have here in this squeaky clean sunny little island, and thinking about other trips that me and my husband are planning in the future, and what a nice angles I took *smug* and thinking it would be great for my art-culture-travel review if I had a good camera, with wide angle, of course.

It's a lame excuse maybe, but at least I got one. :D

Anyway, after that I'm doing a research on a few wide angled prosumer cameras (it's like a crossbreed between pocket camera and DSLR), and found this 2 candidates, Ricoh Caplio GX-200, and Panasonic Lumix DMC-LX3.

After a couple of hours of browsing, I kind of lean on to this LX3. Although I do consider a few other options like Nikon Coolpix P90, Canon Powershot SX10 IS, and Lumix FZ28 ..

After a few more hours of web page flipping and reading, I stumbled into the famous Xiaxue blog. I've heard about her before from a friend that described her as "the blogger who got famous after posting her nose job pics on her blog", but haven't got the chance to look and read her blog.

And I did, just now.

And guess what I found? :D

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Lumix LX3 !!!!

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Omigod, she's using Lumix LX3 !! I think this is some sort of fate, or revelation, or whatever. And in her blog she said that Rozz (from 98.7, from Shan & Rozz, the afternoon radio show that I always listened to), is also using this LX3 !!

Wow..

:)

I know this is some kind of sign. :)

Anyway, I think I will definitely buy this camera if my husband got that new job. You know, bigger income, more money to spend on fun. :D Because this camera is quite pricey. I looked over a couple of online stores in Singapore, and they sell it at the range of 680 - 700 SGD. Quite pricey, but I think it would definitely worth every cents.


*sigh*

"cross fingers and hope that hubby will get the job ..*



It looks just like another pocket camera, but see that sticker that says 24 mm WIDE ANGLE? Geez..

It makes all the difference. Just take a look at the picture below (taken from http://www.sammiller.net/Blog/Digital-Camera-Wide-Angle-Lens-Comparison).

I took the 35 mm picture as comparison, because most cameras uses this lens, including my hubby's, and my current camera.

Unless I wanted to upgrade to DSLR (which I don't want to do, because of the weight and size and price factor), I think LX3 is the best choice around (for me).

Don't you ever feels that these past few months has been so weird and unexpected? Since November last year I feel like the future is so unpredictable that I wouldn't make any plans even for the next 3 months. Its just too risky.

And its just not fit my liking as newlyweds to unable to plan for anything. I need to plan. I need to collect money, I need to get pregnant, I need to buy a house, I need to buy a car, I need to save to get a proper medical care, and I need to save to be able to give our child the best of environment, food, health care and education.

I can't even take advantage of my free complementary honeymoon stay at Banyan Tree (YET!) and I'm too timid and cautious not to book any cheap promotional airplane tickets for August and beyond.. This whole thing becomes more and more overwhelming to me.

But as for now, I'm just drifting away with the current, and silently pray that I will still have my job tomorrow ..

Come to think of it, it's satirically funny. So now I really realize that the world IS round, and so does wheel.

And how does this affect my so-called "married-life" ?

I do feel changed after getting married. And with all the retrenchments looming around, and pay cut breathing down my neck, I'm most certainly are changed.

I become obsessed with saving, I get irritated easily, and I can no longer be happy with the sight of the stars, or by the vivid greens of leaves. It used to be my secret longing and indulgence.

I'm trying to be back to my old relaxed & grateful & easy-to-please self, and try to see even the thinnest silver lining in the skies.. :)

Sometimes i wonder why we're so busy w/ the fake capitalistic beauties surrounds us, busy earning money to get more unnecessary pleasures and beauties, while we can get all the best things in life for free? Like the magnificent skies, the moon and the stars .. And a warm and joyful heart cause by the sight of a baby's smile, a dear friend's joke, or the warm hug of our loved ones.

Did you know that Michelangelo created the statue of David at the age of 29? And the other day I read about Lady Gaga, this new singer that was noted to be a very talented singer song-writer, that some say she'll be the Madonna of the future, is only 22 years old! Somehow some people already done so much in such an early start; and here I am 28 years and 2 weeks old, still haven't done anything significant, and it got me thinking, am I just wasting my time in this world? :-S

I surely hope not.

I may not travel the globe, I may not going to much of an interesting adventures, I may not be a visionary, and I may not the richest girl in the world; but I have my family, my loved ones, my friends. And I earn enough halal money to live a decent normal life in Indonesia, and that's good enough for me.

I'm still struggling to be "somebody", though I still don't know how to do that just yet. I really want to leave my mark in this world, in a good way, that when I die, some people would still remember me as not just somebody, but somebody who has done a good thing for the world.

Maybe later, Insya Allah when I have enough money, by building a mosque, or an orphanage, or some house for the elderly.. But I want to do something for the world, if not for the people around me..

Yesterday is the first day of Chinese New Year. The first day of year of the Ox.

As the few last days of the year of the Rat hasn't been very nice to me, I have high hopes in this year of the Ox that I'd have a good fortune throughout the year.

Despite of my high hopes and how grateful I am if I really do have a good fortune this year, my human greed part of brain is telling me, how lucky and how much fortune can I get in a recession time like this?

In a global recession, can it actually be a recession? I mean, we can say that it's a recession if someone is having less than the other. But now, everybody's money is lessening. So the entire world is getting poorer, and when everybody has less, then it should still be normal right? :)