A place where I can live, breathe, talk and see

Listening to her songs makes me feel like standing alone in the middle of a misty forest and just enjoying the breeze and the voices of nature surrounds me.. Too bad I only got two of her songs, because I left all my precious mp3 collection in Surabaya.

Going to take a stroll to Glodok today (as if it's a park or something beautiful like that..) and I'll try to find her records.

Just got a birthday present from my boyfriend, and thank goodness he got it right this time.. Only right because I chose it myself. But hey, I can’t complain because in Mars, that’s simply the BEST they can do.

And speaking of boyfriends, well, after reading my previous writings, I feel a little bit guilty.. Especially when I get to the 2006 resolution part. Honestly, I just don’t know. Probably love has its own ups and downs just like faith does. And my highest point --which resulted with this guilty feeling-- is right about now, when I’m wearing his gift. Heck, probably I’m just not a slut material.. Basically I’m easily bribed and touched.

Anyways, thank you my darling…. ;))))

As it has come across my mind.. Singledom is happening. Everywhere. I know, it’s been like this for quite sometime. I’ve heard it, and talked abt it so very often, but still.. I’ve never realized that it IS happening. Not until my 25th birthday or somewhere on the way to it. There are TOO may single, beautiful, smart and successful young ladies running around the city, and yet there are no sign of existence from any single, eligible, smart and successful young men around.. What is this all about anyway???

I’ve come up with several scenarios, which is :
Girls, you’re simple TOO picky !! Remember, we don’t stay young forever, the wheel’s turning and time’s running out.
There are no sign of their existence because they simply don’t exist (around us single female at abt the age of 25-ish, especially MY crowd)
All we have around is nice, smart, successful young and MARRIED male. And MEANWHILE, the eligible single males are too busy looking about the garden and don’t have even the smallest intention to pick pne flower and keep it forever. If you can have them all in one garden, why should you keep only one?? They’ll grow old and die eventually (yeah right, and you don’t??)
They’re stupidly became afraid of our aura of power and success-ness and smart-(ass) ness. Gee.. They ARE stupid..
The eligible single males are more interested in their career, or playing around with younger, less married-able girls.

So what can we do about these scenarios?

There are two options, that is :

Go find yourself a widower
Go find yourself a young, eligible, single, mother-complex male

This is, of course, pathetic, considering how smart and beautiful and successful we are. Am I exaggerating things or what..?? But I don’t think so. There’s always time and space for pre-cautiousness. And going through the second half phase of the twenties is hard you know. Especially when you’re depressive and all of your girlfriends are married. But even when they’re all single, you’ll be equally pathetic. And that’s about one of the difficulties of living in this second phase.

And speaking of the twenties, let me tell you something you might find useful.

At the first phase (which is around 20-25), you’re at the top of the world. You think you have all the young, single, smart, eligible males under your feet, begging for a little piece of love and affection. But time flies, and if you don’t pick one right away, or try to make the best out of it, you’ll get some difficulties in getting through the second phase. And most unfortunately, the rest of the other phases. So I suggest you girls to emphasize your best effort on this first phase of the twenties.
And so, as for me, being at the beginning of my second phase and not single, I miss the old feeling of longing and waiting for my prince charming. I know this is too much for a girl at my age, but I really do miss those feelings. I want to find someone that feels oh so right from the very beginning. I want someone I adore with all my heart and soul. I want someone who adores me even more (YAY!!). I want someone that can make my heart melt and start singing. I want butterflies in my tummies. I want someone I can connect to, heart-brain-soul-genitals. I wanted to find and meet and be with my perfect man. The man I love, and may not be perfect for others but he’s everything to me. And me to him.

And all of those has brought me to the end part of this doodles. Out of mind thoughts, materials I typed too fast while I’m high on OBH Combi at 1:18 PM, feeling so very sleepy and wanted to lay my head at the pillow but my fingers just won’t let me do it because my brain still have something to say and write. And my ears just caught this really beautiful tunes that just remind me of my good old days from the first phase (of the twenties, surely).

Eventually, for the great ending of this madness and delusional writings, I’ve two resolutions for 2006. First, that is to find me self a new boyfriend (or some part time boyfriend, I don’t care) other than my present ones. Secondly, is to start writing another.