A place where I can live, breathe, talk and see

menjelang lebaran dan akhir taun.. dengan kondisi neraca keuangan yang tambal sulam.. hikss.. impian-impian yang belum terwujudkan, kewajiban-kewajiban yang belum dilakukan.. rasanya tahun ini tidak bisa dibilang bagus.. :(

it's not a bad year, at least i've a job, but i'm not doing things that i'm supposed to be doing this year.. :((

like, getting new boyfriend and start an international career.. jeezz....

anyway, for next year i've promised myself. i HAVE to start writing and finished it!! next year, i'll be like andrea or ncha.


h o p e f u l l y . . .

The base for LDR to work is trust and understanding.

It is very important for both parties not too demand anything too much.
LDR works best when each parties are independent people.
So they both still have their own lives and circle of friends while maintaining a loving relationship.
It seems hard at first, apalagi klo masing2 punya tingkat ketergantungan yang tinggi terhadap satu sama lain. Mereka harus merubah kebiasaans2 waktu mereka masih bareng2 dulu, mencoba beradaptasi.

Or they won’t survive. It’s just Nature’s Law.

Now me and him has gone through LDR for a year. It’s a little wobbly at start but we can make it now. We’ve grown quite a lot of trust and understanding for each other.
And that God we’re doing pretty well.

Yeah I think LDR works pretty well on us. Partly because we’re not yet close and dependant to each other at start.

Another important thing is to have the best qualities out of your short time together. Physical and emotional closeness must be encouraged.

When I say physical, it doesn’t have to be sexual. Just use your imagination.. ;P
And don’t be shy to show your love and
affection for each other. Let him/her know how much you really care..

Pernah ngga ngerasain kekosongan jiwa?
Pernah ngga berada di titik dimana kamu sudah punya segala sesuatu untuk disyukuri tapi tetep aja nggak bahagia..?
Seperti ada bagian dari jiwa kita yang hilang..

Well I have.

Terasa sejak pertama kali pindah ke Jakarta.
I thought it’ll pass, but it gets worse instead. Jeez..
There’s something missing in Jakarta.
The infamous city for its merciless nature; the weird habits and the wannabees ..
Really it’s not a friendly place to live..
And if you really can find your little piece of heaven here then, well, consider yourself lucky.

"Love and marriage..
They come together like horse and carriage... "

.......... My favourite tunes :D

Anyway.. It seems like every girl's dream to be married... Or at least that how I see it..
Now every successful love songs always have the word marriage in it. In every form. As verbs, adjectives, attributes, subjects, objects, jeez... they're EVERYWHERE !!!

And is it a sheer coincidence, that these months are also marriage months. Marriage season, should I say..

And so I shall predicted, that next year, at the very same months, will be babies months. And hell, probably there'll be songs about babies then...

As many as it has come across my mind, which one's better :

1. To be filthy rich by just marrying a rich, handsome and loving guy; or
2. Stop day dreaming, live my life, do my best and go with the flow.

Of course, as always, a girl would always want to be saved.
But the world's sucks, and I (am forced to opt) for #2. And within that #2, came other options. That is, to live your life with :

1. Active income
2. Passive income

To me both are equal. That's the beauty of life, you have your choices. You could just opt for anything you like, depends on what are your considerations.
And as for me, my ultimate consideration is HAPPINESS.

MY happiness, is when... :

1. I am free to do what I like (which happen to be the things I can do best), and be appreciated for it. I am grateful to have it all now. And get paid for it also. Other than that, is the immeasurable satisfaction of being a creator.. *LOL*
2. Have someone to love.
3. Have the time to relax and smell the roses.
4. The inevitable capitalist world’s highest demand: M-O-N-E-Y

And with that came the heart of this story, which has brought me to write all of these nonsense.

An old friend came up to me and offer me this new business, so-called “The Business of the Future”. Hell, there’s a good probability that they’re right, but frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

But there’s one thing about me that they couldn’t seem to understand, that money, is the last thing on my list of the things that can make me happy.

And they, being a Marketer, offering only MONEY as their main goal, would never interest me. Well, at least they’re not talking abt things I can understand, nor things that I really interested at (see the above list).

So I should say that ppl would always have different priorities, passion and interest. And I was just disappointed in meeting a very incapable Marketer who doesn’t really see, understand and respects these basic differences.

Can’t they just accept that they have failed?

But I know I’m not an easy case so they should just practice more..

i miss my baby.. :(( i'll be home soon but i miss my baby.. :((

miss you..
miss you.. miss you..
miss you.. miss you..

miss you..

my baby..


:(((((

trained to be cocky
trained to be proud of something so insignificant

trained to think that they're the smartest, most qualified human being alive
trained to think that you must appreciate your inferiors..
trained to think that they know EVERYTHING..
trained to think that soon they'll be at the top of the top

feed them a little dream..
then tied them all up with the string of obligation

there you have it..
a bunch of cocky little blue cellar worker who thinks that they're at the top of the top..

.... poor little thing

What do we seek in a man..?
How do we know that he will be our soulmate?
Does everyone would meet their soulmates?
Would everything end up happily ever after?

Sometimes we feel that everything's isn't enough..
But sometimes we feel that everything is fine, and everything would be ok..
And we get confused between the two

What is love anyway..?

Do we really have to cover ourselves up at times..?
Even when we're doing it while we're not in difficult situation but merely to impress?

What is the urge to impress?

I've no one to impress nor anything to show.. And that's fine with me..
I live my life only (and hopefully will be, forever..) by truth.
I wanted to live my life truthfully. To proudly show ppl who I really am..

..the monster inside me..
..the child inside me..
.. the artist in me..
And hide nothing less.
No backstabbing, no treachery, no laughing at others unfortunates, no pretending to be someone I'm not, nothing.

And just be.

But that is difficult.
Even to survive properly, as a decent human being in this world is difficult.
You can't make everybody happy, and you can't stop people from hating you, or simply dislikes you.
It's because they just don't know you..

What's the calling in your life?
What's the center of your universe?
What do you breathe (instead of air)..?
What are the things that you can't live without?
What are the passion in your life?
What are the things that made you happy?
What are the things that made you feel success and contended?
What's the biggest part of your life?
What makes you feel like you are really you?


I think I've found one of mine. Amongst many other things. :))

And I am me, again.. :)

I came upon to think that, we could definitely judge a (female) designer's work by their fashion.

I've been watching my friends, and other female designers I've worked with. And it's all the same. There's a pattern that actually connects their way of dressing themselves, and their design. As we all know that female expresses their personalities through lots of things, and fashion is one of the popular way to do so.

It's quite fascinating.

And it's not like that at all with male designers. They could look really scruffy, wore entirely tasteless clothes but still their designs are amazing..
I'm still trying to figure out how could we distinct the good and the bad out of male designers.

So next time when you met (or better, worked with a female designer) just try to observe the pattern.

It's fun! :D

there's sooooooooooooooooooooooo... many types of ppl in this world. And it still amazes me to meet one freak after another.. jeezz... oh how colorful the world is..

why would one owns a car in city like this?

public transportation is a blessing (in some way..). And if one needs to have a little comfort, there's always cab..

Imagine the outrageous parking fee, imagine the toll fee, imagine the traffic jam.. Imagine the gas!! Having a car is a torment.



..well for a singleton like me, living all by myself, not yet owned a house; of course..
And the day I own car, is when I can afford it with a chauffeur.. :D And must be with the house, or else where will I park the damn thing..?? And children. :D and before that, must have the hubby, for sure! :D

ahhh... wonder when that day will be..

and I'm just doing this ALL day..

look out of the window..

huhuhuhuhu.. burst

It's like yesterday..
I didn't even know your name..
Now today,
You're always on my mind..

I never could have predicted that I feel this way
You are beautiful surprise..

Intoxicated.. every time I hear your voice
You've got me on a natural high..
It's almost like, I didn't even have a choice..

You are a beautiful surprise

Whatever it is you came to teach me..
I am here to learn it cause,
I believe that we are written in the stars..

I don't know what the future holds
But I'm living in the moment..
And I'm thankful for the man that you are..

You are everything I ask for in my prayers..
So I know my angels brought you to my life
Your energy is healing to my soul..

You are a beautiful surprise

You are an inspiration to my life
You are the reason why I smile.. :)

You are a beautiful surprise

Yes he is.. :)

India Arie's BEAUTIFUL SURPRISE :)

If he were a color..
He'd be a deep dark forest green

If he were a car..
He'd be a long stretch limousine
With room for all of humanity inside
Cause he is so giving
And he is so wise..

If he were a number..
He'd be a five cause he has such a brilliant mind

If he were an animal
He's be an ass cause he's so stubborn sometimes

But if he were a song
He'd be a complicated melody
That complicated fellow he
I almost can not sing it on key

But he means the world to me..

If he were a building
He'd be a beautiful cathedral
Cause he's so traditionally spiritual

If he were a dance
He'd be complicated like the tango
Exotic like a mango

But if he was a song
He'd be a complicated melody
That complicated fellow he
I almost can not sing it on key

But he means the world me..

He ain't the reason for the sun and the moon
He is the reason for this here tune

Cause he means the world to me..

he means the world to me.. :)

quoted fr. India Arie's COMPLICATED MELODY

hell jakarta is a disgusting city..

I'd be tempted to death, and if my manners and sense hadn't beat my twisted mind, I'd still be on the street by now, counting how many spit-marks are there on my way to office.. Disgusting, I know..

There are ZILLIONS of them! (I exaggerate, surely..)

What I really really wanted to do right now is to :

.... sit by the office window and just enjoy the view... It's a great view!!
I could lost track in time, day dreaming and watching the sky, buildings, all the busy life below.. and my quiet life..

I'd be at peace, and I'd be high on nothing.. :D
..... now I know why rich ppl loves apartment.

ini kantor apa kuburan yaa... baru jam segini and everybody's GONE!! Jeezz....

Browse photos of NY, and actually meditates on them, suck those pictures into my head and out of my hands (hopefully, but not just yet..) had LOADS of new ideas, but too lazy to actually have it drawn.. But at least I have ideas.. :D Baca milis, baca e-book.. wahh... bener2 berasa makan gaji buta.. ;D but c'est la vie..

Anyway, one cannot be creative without having to emptied one's head from every clutters.. so that's why I'm emptying mine right now.. :DD

mungkin apa sudah ada riset yang menyatakan seberapa tinggi tingkat kematian warga jakarta karena polusi? Yaaa not necessarily penyebab kematian: POLUSI, sih nggak.. cumaa.. mungkiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn... radang paru2?? tubercolosis?? kanker?? Karena asapnya tuh nggak main2!! weeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. amit2 dehh..

My apologies, to Dante Alighieri; my highest tribute to this great artist, but this alteration of his poems on my blog has meant nothing but to give it a higher meaning. For me, and for others who reads it.

And for whoever who reads this blog, please don’t refer this blog as some official references to Dante’s work because it is NOT.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Through you I enter the city of woes,
Through you I enter the eternal pain,
Through you I enter the population of loss.


...
Thou art not dead, but in delusion strayest,
Poor soul, who so lamentest thy estate,
Exclaims a little gentle spirit of love;
For this fair gentleman, who disquiets thee,
Has so transform’d thy life, that thou hast fear
Of him, so spiritless thou art become.


... I feel the mighty power of Love so great
That I cannot endure
Its suffering long; whence I am sorely grieved;
For he is ever growing in his strength,
And I feel mine decay;
So that each hour I am weaker than before.
I ask not Love to grant more than I wish,
For should he grant all the will requires,
The virtue which from nature I derive
Could bear it not, for it is limited
And this it is of which my heart complains,
That power corresponds not to desire.
But if from good desire reward should spring,
I claim it, in a grant of longer life,
From those fair eyes, whose splendour, sweetly mild,
Brings comfort when I feel Love’s influence.

... O true must be the love which captivates,
And strong must be the chain,
Since I would do for it what I aver
For love exists not of an equal weight
To that which pleasures finds
In death, from serving another well.


... No power but that of Love could render me
Deserving to be made
Subject of him ....