A place where I can live, breathe, talk and see

Since I woke up this morning, the news of Michael Jackson's death has been blaring from every media I tune in to. And it's the major topic of every conversation I made with people today. And then I heard about Farah Fawcett's death too.

I don't really feel sad at first, because I don't really liked both. But after being bombarded by the news all day, and people saying how sad they are, and how they have lost their life-long idol and a music genius and stuff like that, I kind of getting carried away and feel a bit sad also.

Or maybe it's because of my PMS. :P

Climate change hurts China's poor from Greenpeace China on Vimeo.

This is a very valuable and easy to follow 7 precepts to live a green life by http://www.dothegreenthing.com/

1. Walk The Walk; You get from A to B without any C. Walk as often as you can. Or if it's really unbearably far, take public transport.

2. Easy On The Meat; It’s delicious but it causes more CO2 than cars.

3. Stick With What You Got; Resist the urge to buy the latest trends/ products and only buy what you REALLY need.

4. Turn down the central heating and turn up the Human Heat; or if you live in the tropics like me, try to manage to live with a fan and reduce your AC usage as minimal as you can bear.

5. All-Consuming; The art of wasting nothing and using up everything

6. Stay Grounded; Instead of jetting your way around the world

7. Plug Out; Don’t leave it on or even put it on

A couple of minutes ago I just erased my Friendster account. And a couple of months back I already erased my Coroflot account.

I can say that I feel really relieved. :) I want to limit my WWW exposure to a certain limit where it really necessary, and well taken care of. Like this blog, and my tweets. ;) And I want to make sure that I DON'T have any idle accounts.

But one thing that's bothering me, why Friendster is using the term of "Cancel Account", instead of "Delete Account"?

Last weekend I bought this pinhole glasses.


I accidentally bumped into this glasses 2 weeks ago, when I was waiting for a friend, and I decided to waste my time at Daiso, looking at all the cool and quirky Japanese's answer to all of our life's needs.

And then I saw the glasses. Attracted by the ridiculous solid black plastic with evenly-spaced tiny holes replacing the lens, I start trying it on and read the back package. It says that the glasses can be used for an eye therapy to reduce far-sightedness, near-sightedness, astigmatism, and the likes of it. :P Having already promised myself to live lightly, and not to waste money on things that I'd only neglects after 1-2 times of using; I decided not to buy it that instant, but to research some more about this peculiar pinhole glasses, and make sure that it really worked.

Turns out that it is true! This glasses is a very cheap and non-evasive way to improve your eye sight. You don't even need a prescription to get one of there (I bought it at Daiso, remember? :P :D)

At the first time I wear it, the subtitle words on tv which usually looked blurred from afar, suddenly became clearer and sharper. :) But when I use it to read a much smaller text on computer screen, I can feel my eyes is working hard to focus, to get the clearest image for me. It gives sort of a giddy feeling on my eyes. Not the sort of feeling that I like, but I guess I have to take it since it's an important exercise to keep my lazy eyes well trained to focus. :P

But keep in mind that this pinhole glasses tends to block your peripheral vision so only use it when in stable environments. Do not use it while driving.


Me and my pinhole glasses(above).

So I guess I will try to religiously wearing this glasses for at least an hour a day, or whenever I watch tv or working on computer (at home), and I will post about the result within 1 or 2 months. :)

More links to enlightened you about this fabulous invention :
- Wikipedia
- Myopia.org

I am LOVING this song !!!! :*:* Let's sing along !! :D

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Heard you’re New in town
Want someone to show you round
Well no-one knows this place just quite like me
Well I don’t, hang with the crowd
Where I go, were dressing down
I’ll take you where the music plays for free
So don’t be lie on people you meet
Cause no-one is safe in these streets

I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a good time
I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money but we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a real good time

What I do, you think so far
Is it all your hoping for?
Does it live up to your every dream?
Or do, we disappoint
While you make the choice
When you wake up can you hear a scream

So don’t be lie on people you meet
Cause no-one is safe in these streets

I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a good time
I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a real good time

Cause I know how it feels to be alone
When strangers only make you feel apart
You never, ever felt so far from home
You never felt so far from home

I’m gonna take you out tonight
Im’ gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a good time
I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a real good time

I’m gonna take you out tonight
Im’ gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a good time
I’m gonna take you out tonight
I’m gonna make you feel alright
I don’t have a lot of money
But we’ll be fine
No, I don’t have a penny
But I’ll show you a real good time

In Singapore, the position of foreign workers amongst the Singaporean society are a bit enigmatic, if not difficult. Singapore needs them, definitely. Since there's no Singaporean who'd like to trim the lovely 3318 hectares expanse of grass of this Garden City, nor laid brick by brick in a construction projects, or take the leaves & garbage out of the water reservoir's canal trap-gate soon after a heavy downpour rain.


It may seems like they were doing a measly job, but without them Singapore wouldn't look as effortlessly squeaky clean and well maintained as it is now. It's the small details that creates vast differences.

And on one sunny and windy day, on my way to the city, I saw a group of dark skinned man wearing red shirt & a safety vest crouching at a vast expanse of a well trimmed grass. That patch of land, was in the middle of nowhere. In Indonesia it would be just an unkempt government land, grow wildly and occupied with God knows what. But here, even the most remote piece of land is apparently, very well kept, thanks to the ever hard working and diligent foreign workers.


And it strikes me, that those guys looked very much like the Oompa Loompa. Physically & philosophically.


Oompa Loompas are the most devoted caretakers of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory (from Charlie and the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory, written by Roald Dahl, my favorite writer :) ).

They're the factory worker, the entertainer, the cleaner, the guard, the gardener, the taster; everything! However invisible they are (because of their petite size) there's no doubt that they're the life and blood of Willy Wonka's factory.

And Willy Wonka pays them with nothing but chocolate. Because apparently, the Oompa Loompa worshiped chocolate.

Compared to the situation in our world, where as the only thing that these 'Oompa Loompa' (and the rest of the human kind) ever worshiped, is of course, the greatest God of all - money :)

The question above, I posted on Ask Yahoo!. I love Ask Yahoo!. I can ask just about anything, got an amusing answers along the way and boy I do have a lot of questions.

So, I just want to share my best answer by a guy called ieguy.

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Actually, yes, penis size has evolved over time - that's one reason why humans have the largest one in the primate world.

Your statement, though, that Darwin somehow said that humans are evolving into something more appropriate to modern technology is in error. Natural Selection doesn't work that way. If human females, however, begin to preferentially choose males with larger, smaller, purple, crooked, or whatever penises and thus provide a selective advantage to such males that they leave more descendants - then that would drive a change in genotype and thus likely in phenotype and thus you would have a change.

Of course, don't forget that the female would also be under selective pressure for changes in their genitalia as well - it would have to be able to accommodate those crooked, larger, etc., males. (Males would have to accept and be willing to mate with any such females as well) AND the young they have would have to have a selective advantage come the next generation and so on.

This list is compiled based on my limited personal experience, and my 4 hours of reading Mars and Venue Together Forever (John Gray, Ph.D)(up to page 116 :D). I will read some more, and if there's any other interesting points I will subsequently update the post.

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1. If he emotionally withdraws from you, let him. Just make sure when he's back to normal again, you're there to greet him w/ a beautiful smile & an open arms.

2. Always appreciate whatever he has done for you - even the smallest favor - and make sure he knows. So he'd also know that he makes you happy. This exercise is very easy. Just pretend that you're with a dolphin and you must give him "reward" (in this case is appreciation) each time he does a trick for you. :)

3. When you feel overwhelmed and tired and need to complain and and nags your mind out, do warn him first. Say things like, "I had an awful day, would you take a few minutes to just listen? You don't have to say anything and I will feel better!". By saying things like this, you give your man a chance to just relax and listen to your problems and thoughts without actually needed to give us any solutions. Because we want him to understand, and not to give us unnecessary solutions. If you didn't warn him before, he'd be unprepared, and all he'll give you is his natural reactions of giving solutions. Which we don't need. Or worse, he'll feel that he's the source of your problems and unhappiness and will get defensive in the end. And the supposedly "nurturing communication" sessions will go haywire. :P

4. Understand that when a man flicks through tv channels, it's his way to relax his mind. So let him.
Also any kind of physical activity is a good exercise for him to channel his stress. And when he's back, he'll be a much better man than before. So just let him.

5. Never obsessively ask him about his seconds by seconds activity, and constantly check/text/call him on what he's doing. There's a limit on this, on of course there are also the special circumstances, so just watch it.

i haven't open my Facebook account for a few days. I usually only open whenever there's somebody added me as their friend, or if there's anyone commenting on my pics or on the pics that I already commented on before.




Anyway ..




Just now I checked on my FB account. And at the first page, is of course, the status updates from my friends, and their latest picture uploads also.


And I feel a bit depressed. *sigh*


To know how your friends are doing, well yeah, that's good.
To know how well your friends are doing, while you're still sitting on the same lump from last year, well .. that's not so good.
To see that your friends are hanging out together without inviting you, well, that's not so good either.

I know I may sounds like some ungrateful green eyed jealous monster.. which I probably am. :D But I just can't help it.

And honestly, I still don't understand how people can get so addicted to Facebook.



Is there any social networking websites out there where I can simply count my blessings and constantly reminding me to be grateful for what I have ?

I heard this song on the radio today, and loving it! :)

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And if I could swim
I'd swim out to you in the ocean,
Swim out to where you were floating
in the dark.
And if was blessed
I walk on the water you're breathing,
To lend you some air for that heaving
Sunken chest.

'Cause they chose you
As the model
For their empty little dreams.
With your new head
And your legs spread
Like a filthy magazine.
And they hunt you
And they gut you
And you give in.

And if I was brave
I'd climb up to you on the mountain.
They led you to drink from their fountain
Spouting lies.
And I'd slay
The horrible beast they commissioned
To steer me away from my mission
To your eyes,
And I'd stand there
Like a soldier
With my foot upon his chest.
With my grin spread
And my arms out
In my bloodstained Sunday's best,
And you'd hold me
I'd remind you
Who you are...
Under their shell..

I'd walk through hell for you.
Let it burn right through my shoes.
These soles are useless without you.
Through hell for you
Let the torturing ensue.
My soul is useless without you

And if they sent a whirlwind,
I'd hug it like a harmless little tree.
Or an earthquake,
I'd calm it,
And I'd bring you back to me,
And I'd hold you
In my weak arms like a first born.

I'd walk through hell for you.
Let it burn right through my shoes.
These soles are useless without you.
Through hell for you
Let the torturing ensue.
My soul is useless without you (through hell for you)

(through hell for you) without you
Without you (through hell for you)
Without you (through hell for you)

Now, I've walked through hell for you,
What's an adventurer to do
But rest these feet at home with you

I saw this uncle yesterday, on the bus. He slept. But what's so interesting is that, the handle of his glasses and his eyes are actually in perfect align, forming one horizontal line stretching across his face, EXACTLY as in my sketch! :D And his glasses is the frameless type, only with black handles on the sides, and obviously, the black line of his eyes.

I thought I could only see this kind of imagery in cartoon characters. But now I found what inspires it! :)

I love watching people. My Dad has the same (annoying) habit. :) I guess it runs in the family. :P If it's not because sometimes it would be considered as rude, I think I will make a serious hobby out of it. You know, like bird watching. But this is people watching. :D Or is it human watching ?

These characters are mostly picked when I am most bored. And have nothing else to do besides, well, watching people around me. So it doesn't have to be the weirdest looking/ dressed people, if they were dressed for the occasion (art performances or some sort), well, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. I'm not saying that there's something wrong with these people I featured. It's just that, at that fateful moment, these people gives a little tug in my heart, and draws my sudden interest to them. :)


Anyway ...


Now I will make 1 serious step forward. Well, I think it's 2. 1, is to record it (I hope nobody would sue me for this :-S this is for entertainment purposes only .. :P) And 2, I'm publishing it, here. :D

And for occasions where I cannot snap at the object of my interest, I'll do a little sketch. :D

So here's the first entry.

An old lady I saw on the bus, with purple cotton-candy like hair, purple blouse in flower pattern and I swear she smells like candy!

"It seems to me now that the plain state of being human is dramatic enough for everyone; you don't need to be a heroin addict or a performance poet to experience extremity. You just have to love someone. " -Katie Carr, "How To Be Good" by Nick Horby

Some part of my body, somewhere near my heart (which not actually my heart, because I know it's in a perfectly healthy condition), is aching.
A simple sorry would mean the world to me..

But no, such word is like a myth. Maybe the man has never heard of it. Or even know what it means. Or what it means to me. If he ever cared about me.

And it hurts. And it hurts me more when I saw him right there and act all innocent. It hurts so bad but there's nothing I can do.

:'(

Can anyone refresh my memory on why would I go to such length as falling in love? On taking the risk of loving, at the same time you also have assigned yourself to the exclusive experience of pain. And not just the usual kind of pain. If feels like something (or somebody) is ripping off some part of your internal organs in the upper abdomen area. Damn it hurts ..

:'(

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Kami yang kini terbaring antara Krawang-Bekasi
tidak bisa teriak “Merdeka” dan angkat senjata lagi.
Tapi siapakah yang tidak lagi mendengar deru kami,
terbayang kami maju dan mendegap hati ?

Kami bicara padamu dalam hening di malam sepi
Jika dada rasa hampa dan jam dinding yang berdetak
Kami mati muda. Yang tinggal tulang diliputi debu.
Kenang, kenanglah kami.

Kami sudah coba apa yang kami bisa
Tapi kerja belum selesai, belum bisa memperhitungkan arti 4-5 ribu nyawa

Kami cuma tulang-tulang berserakan
Tapi adalah kepunyaanmu
Kaulah lagi yang tentukan nilai tulang-tulang berserakan

Atau jiwa kami melayang untuk kemerdekaan kemenangan dan harapan
atau tidak untuk apa-apa,
Kami tidak tahu, kami tidak lagi bisa berkata
Kaulah sekarang yang berkata

Kami bicara padamu dalam hening di malam sepi
Jika ada rasa hampa dan jam dinding yang berdetak

Kenang, kenanglah kami
Teruskan, teruskan jiwa kami
Menjaga Bung Karno
menjaga Bung Hatta
menjaga Bung Sjahrir

Kami sekarang mayat
Berikan kami arti
Berjagalah terus di garis batas pernyataan dan impian

Kenang, kenanglah kami
yang tinggal tulang-tulang diliputi debu
Beribu kami terbaring antara Krawang-Bekasi

Chairil Anwar (1948)
Brawidjaja, Jilid 7, No 16, 1957


[Krawang-Bekasi]
--translated by Burton Raffel

We who are lying, now, near Krawang-Bekasi,
We can no longer cry out “Freedom,” no longer lift our rifles

But who cannot still hear our moans?
Still see us marching forward, unafraid?

We speak to you out of the suspended silence of evening
When the chest feels empty, when clocks tick away time

We died young. All that remains of us: bones covered with dust.
Remember, remember us!

We’ve tried, done all we could
But the job isn’t finished, is hardly begun

We’ve given the lives we had
The job isn’t finished, no one can count up, still, the meaning of four thousand,
of five thousand lives

We are only scattered bones
But they belong to you
And you will decide the value of these scattered bones
Either we died for freedom, for victory, for hope

Or for nothing.
We don’t know, we can no longer say
Only you can speak, now

We speak to you out of the suspended silence of evening
When the chest feels empty, when clocks tick away time

Remember, remember us—
Let our lives live on
Guarding Soekarno
Guarding Hatta
Guarding Sjahrir

We are corpses
Give us meaning
Keep watch over the frontier between reality and illusion

Remember, remember us
Who survive only in these bones covered with dust
Thousands of us, lying near Krawang-Bekasi.


．Burton Raffel, ed. & trans., The Complete Poetry and Prose of Chairil Anwar,
Albany : State University of New York Press, 1970, pp. 126-129.

It strikes me this morning, while I'm doing the Spa layout while glancing at google thinking of what I want to read and search today, and absorbing my drifting thoughts and chatted online with my hubby and friends *yes, I am a multitasker, and a good one, that is ;)*. And it strikes me that I need a new camera. A pocket camera with a good wide angle.

YES.

It's just that I'm reminiscing my GoodLorax blog, and thinking what a nice photo objects we have here in this squeaky clean sunny little island, and thinking about other trips that me and my husband are planning in the future, and what a nice angles I took *smug* and thinking it would be great for my art-culture-travel review if I had a good camera, with wide angle, of course.

It's a lame excuse maybe, but at least I got one. :D

Anyway, after that I'm doing a research on a few wide angled prosumer cameras (it's like a crossbreed between pocket camera and DSLR), and found this 2 candidates, Ricoh Caplio GX-200, and Panasonic Lumix DMC-LX3.

After a couple of hours of browsing, I kind of lean on to this LX3. Although I do consider a few other options like Nikon Coolpix P90, Canon Powershot SX10 IS, and Lumix FZ28 ..

After a few more hours of web page flipping and reading, I stumbled into the famous Xiaxue blog. I've heard about her before from a friend that described her as "the blogger who got famous after posting her nose job pics on her blog", but haven't got the chance to look and read her blog.

And I did, just now.

And guess what I found? :D

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Lumix LX3 !!!!

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Omigod, she's using Lumix LX3 !! I think this is some sort of fate, or revelation, or whatever. And in her blog she said that Rozz (from 98.7, from Shan & Rozz, the afternoon radio show that I always listened to), is also using this LX3 !!

Wow..

:)

I know this is some kind of sign. :)

Anyway, I think I will definitely buy this camera if my husband got that new job. You know, bigger income, more money to spend on fun. :D Because this camera is quite pricey. I looked over a couple of online stores in Singapore, and they sell it at the range of 680 - 700 SGD. Quite pricey, but I think it would definitely worth every cents.


*sigh*

"cross fingers and hope that hubby will get the job ..*



It looks just like another pocket camera, but see that sticker that says 24 mm WIDE ANGLE? Geez..

It makes all the difference. Just take a look at the picture below (taken from http://www.sammiller.net/Blog/Digital-Camera-Wide-Angle-Lens-Comparison).

I took the 35 mm picture as comparison, because most cameras uses this lens, including my hubby's, and my current camera.

Unless I wanted to upgrade to DSLR (which I don't want to do, because of the weight and size and price factor), I think LX3 is the best choice around (for me).

Don't you ever feels that these past few months has been so weird and unexpected? Since November last year I feel like the future is so unpredictable that I wouldn't make any plans even for the next 3 months. Its just too risky.

And its just not fit my liking as newlyweds to unable to plan for anything. I need to plan. I need to collect money, I need to get pregnant, I need to buy a house, I need to buy a car, I need to save to get a proper medical care, and I need to save to be able to give our child the best of environment, food, health care and education.

I can't even take advantage of my free complementary honeymoon stay at Banyan Tree (YET!) and I'm too timid and cautious not to book any cheap promotional airplane tickets for August and beyond.. This whole thing becomes more and more overwhelming to me.

But as for now, I'm just drifting away with the current, and silently pray that I will still have my job tomorrow ..

Come to think of it, it's satirically funny. So now I really realize that the world IS round, and so does wheel.

And how does this affect my so-called "married-life" ?

I do feel changed after getting married. And with all the retrenchments looming around, and pay cut breathing down my neck, I'm most certainly are changed.

I become obsessed with saving, I get irritated easily, and I can no longer be happy with the sight of the stars, or by the vivid greens of leaves. It used to be my secret longing and indulgence.

I'm trying to be back to my old relaxed & grateful & easy-to-please self, and try to see even the thinnest silver lining in the skies.. :)

Sometimes i wonder why we're so busy w/ the fake capitalistic beauties surrounds us, busy earning money to get more unnecessary pleasures and beauties, while we can get all the best things in life for free? Like the magnificent skies, the moon and the stars .. And a warm and joyful heart cause by the sight of a baby's smile, a dear friend's joke, or the warm hug of our loved ones.

Did you know that Michelangelo created the statue of David at the age of 29? And the other day I read about Lady Gaga, this new singer that was noted to be a very talented singer song-writer, that some say she'll be the Madonna of the future, is only 22 years old! Somehow some people already done so much in such an early start; and here I am 28 years and 2 weeks old, still haven't done anything significant, and it got me thinking, am I just wasting my time in this world? :-S

I surely hope not.

I may not travel the globe, I may not going to much of an interesting adventures, I may not be a visionary, and I may not the richest girl in the world; but I have my family, my loved ones, my friends. And I earn enough halal money to live a decent normal life in Indonesia, and that's good enough for me.

I'm still struggling to be "somebody", though I still don't know how to do that just yet. I really want to leave my mark in this world, in a good way, that when I die, some people would still remember me as not just somebody, but somebody who has done a good thing for the world.

Maybe later, Insya Allah when I have enough money, by building a mosque, or an orphanage, or some house for the elderly.. But I want to do something for the world, if not for the people around me..

Yesterday is the first day of Chinese New Year. The first day of year of the Ox.

As the few last days of the year of the Rat hasn't been very nice to me, I have high hopes in this year of the Ox that I'd have a good fortune throughout the year.

Despite of my high hopes and how grateful I am if I really do have a good fortune this year, my human greed part of brain is telling me, how lucky and how much fortune can I get in a recession time like this?

In a global recession, can it actually be a recession? I mean, we can say that it's a recession if someone is having less than the other. But now, everybody's money is lessening. So the entire world is getting poorer, and when everybody has less, then it should still be normal right? :)