A place where I can live, breathe, talk and see

Just watched Amelia today, a story on Amelia Earhart. A bit of a sad ending movie, but that's not the point.

In this movie I saw how a real good partnership between a husband and wife works. The partnership between Amelia Earhart, and her husband and publisher George Putnam.

You see, Amelia was the "star", and George, as he humbly said, is a small grain of speckle in her constellation (or something like that.. :D). But in the movie it is definitely not like that. George was Amelia's rock, and her best supporter. He nurtured her, he contained all of her energy and directs it to better place. I think none of her achievement will be established without his support. And Amelia in this movie, was a very strong woman. One with a tunnel vision and a very strong will. And it took one hell of a person to be able to accommodate such a strong will and vision, and be able to contain it and direct it to a better place. And not once being shied away with his wife's successes. Because he's the one who helped her to make things happens.

He stands seemingly unseen in the shadow of her glory, but it's him who became the silent force that makes everything possible.

And THAT my friends, is a good partnership.

In a relationship between a husband and wife, there's no competition, not even about who make the most money or did most of the hard work. Because in a good partnership, it's all about supporting each other and nurturing each others passion so that together, they'll each grow to be a better person. Regardless who made the most money or who have done most of the hard work, because in the end, none of it will happen without the support of each other.

Well, I'm not really know if all those good partnership thing was only for the movie or it actually is like that. but anyways, it's a good inspiration nevertheless.

:)

Happy Saturday!

This list is compiled based on my limited personal experience, and my 4 hours of reading Mars and Venue Together Forever (John Gray, Ph.D)(up to page 116 :D). I will read some more, and if there's any other interesting points I will subsequently update the post.

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1. If he emotionally withdraws from you, let him. Just make sure when he's back to normal again, you're there to greet him w/ a beautiful smile & an open arms.

2. Always appreciate whatever he has done for you - even the smallest favor - and make sure he knows. So he'd also know that he makes you happy. This exercise is very easy. Just pretend that you're with a dolphin and you must give him "reward" (in this case is appreciation) each time he does a trick for you. :)

3. When you feel overwhelmed and tired and need to complain and and nags your mind out, do warn him first. Say things like, "I had an awful day, would you take a few minutes to just listen? You don't have to say anything and I will feel better!". By saying things like this, you give your man a chance to just relax and listen to your problems and thoughts without actually needed to give us any solutions. Because we want him to understand, and not to give us unnecessary solutions. If you didn't warn him before, he'd be unprepared, and all he'll give you is his natural reactions of giving solutions. Which we don't need. Or worse, he'll feel that he's the source of your problems and unhappiness and will get defensive in the end. And the supposedly "nurturing communication" sessions will go haywire. :P

4. Understand that when a man flicks through tv channels, it's his way to relax his mind. So let him.
Also any kind of physical activity is a good exercise for him to channel his stress. And when he's back, he'll be a much better man than before. So just let him.

5. Never obsessively ask him about his seconds by seconds activity, and constantly check/text/call him on what he's doing. There's a limit on this, on of course there are also the special circumstances, so just watch it.

This last few weeks I had the craziest infatuation.

I'm about to be married in a year (or less), but here I am, lusting and blushing and get all flipped out over this person I never even talked to! Well, that's if the interview session isn't counted.. It's shameful, I know that. I cannot even talked about it to my friends, so I just let it out here.

The most embarrassing moment is today, at lunch. When we're having lunch with all the Indonesians, then I caught a glimpse of him. And then I pretend not to look at him, while my heart is doing a trapeze dance. And then my friends says hi to him, so I had to look at him and smile. And he smiles back.



...

...



And there.


My face's burning.


My heart stopped beating for a second.


And I couldn't breathe..


:DD *LOL* *sigh*




Jeez, it's been too long since the last time I had this crazy infatuations. The last I can remember is with Boni :D My first is with my brother's friend, the 2nd is also, the 3rd is with this guy at high school, and Boni, and now, 4 years later, HIM.

Oh I'm so ashamed!!!! :(((( My reactions are stupid and crazy, and yet I couldn't helped it! Maybe it's because I've been away from my boyfriend for far too long..?

It's fun, just not to get bored at the office, but I think I get over reacted, and my reaction is very embarrassing.. :(( I feel like a stupid lovesick puppy..

I need to get over this crazy infatuation, although I kind of liked the feeling :D Ah, the desperate girl.. So I searched on Google for his name, but the result is too many.. :P and I just don't have the heart to go browse one by one.

Anyway, I'll be back to update on this. Especially on his availability. :P

I just saw the Golden Compass yesterday, and it's interesting that daemons and their humans can't be separated. Daemons are part of the human soul, and if they are to be separated, it'll drive each other crazy and they'd have to endured an excruciating pain to the level of death.

That's exactly how I feel when I don't see or at least talked to him. If we were living in the Golden Compass parallel world, I think I'm becoming his daemon, or he's becoming mine. This fact I learned yesterday, when I got mad at him over a thing, and I decided to ignore him. But the more I try to ignore & hate him, the more my heart aches. I'm trying to hurt him, but the fact that it hurts me also..

And then once again I pray to God, for God to show me the way, and to separate our hearts if we weren't meant to be, and to holds our hearts together if we're meant to be.. And apparently, later that night, the anger has gone and we're lovers again.. ;-)

Now I can proudly announce that I've heard the wedding bells.. ;-) the sound's still considered far, but closer than anything I've ever heard from this past 3 years :-D

I feel closer to him than ever, and knowing that he'd be a good and responsible husband has made me feel safe. I think I love him. It must be love. If not, what is? :-P I still have my dreams, and his support for my dreams has made me love him even more. I really really think I love him. Or I think I really really love him.. :-D

The only problem left is money. He feel he doesn't have enough money to show my parents so that he can take my hand in marriage and give me the 'proper' life, as they'd expect. I wanted to help. Oh God I honestly do. But what can I do? We can use up all of our money on house, car and a romantic honeymoon. That's all I want. But tradition told us to waste all of our savings on a silly celebration.. :-( What will happen if I told my parents that all I wanted is a simple akad nikah, a romantic honeymoon; a house and a car? :-D

Veeeery tempting...

I used to dream about being of housewife of a succesfull husband.. But now, on a second thought, I will NEVER be a housewife no matter what. Men these days are unbelievable. In the most negative way possible. They're like, don't have any respect for their wives anymore, especially when they already have a lot of money and feel like he can buy the world.. And by not working, we're stripped out of our political and economical power. And what happened if we need money to help our parents/family? Or to splurge on something just to know that we can afford those? Or just to share it with others in need? We might not be THAT lucky to found a spouse that's really understanding.. I'm talking reality here. We always wanted to found our soulmate, someone who's perfect for us in everyway.. We wanted everything to be perfectly romantic like in the movies.. But there are girls who'd have to face the hard fact that love just don't don't come easy. And a sweet, romantic, kind, rich, faithful, handsome, smart guys don't just go wandering around everywhere like alley cats. We need to work hard for that love. And if everything don't go right, we might need a divorce. And a lady divorcee, with no job, no money and a lot of kids equals disaster.. Or we might ended up gone ballistic and just keep swallowing our anger, up to the point that it'd kill us. Or before we kill our spouse.. ;-) Kidding..! Anyway, I hope I'll never be a pure housewife, or if I really have, God please give me an almost perfect (because nobody's perfect..) husband.. ;-)

We've been together for 2.5 years now.. We already have a joint account for our mutual future needs (i.e marriage) although we haven't really plan to be married in the near future.
And however close we are as a couple, when it comes to money, I just realise that we're not as trusting and cooperative to each other as I thought we were.. It shocked me a bit. And I just remember an old saying that even our husbands/wives are never will be an actual part of our family. Because blood is thicker than anything else, and family is more important than a spouse. It would be great if our spouse can actually understands us, and our family. But if they can't, then it's a great shame.. Therefore an Indonesian marriage is more complicated than others, simply because when we are married to someone it means that we're marrying the whole family. And as I grew older and (hopefully) come closer to that stage of life (marriage), I realized how true every old saying is..

A spouse is just a spouse, a mere way to have an offspring. But in God's eye even our family means nothing, except for an obedient child who'll pray to Allah for forgiveness of our sins.. That's why I always wanted a child, children.. As my love-bite mark to the world, and to pray for my forgiveness when I die.

There's also one old saying that I don't like, but it's always on my mind because it might be true.. That we could never love our parents as much as they love us.. And the same thing for us and our children. It's a shame because I really love my parents and hopefully I can repay their love and kindness someday.. Which I knew I'll never can...

As it has come across my mind.. Singledom is happening. Everywhere. I know, it’s been like this for quite sometime. I’ve heard it, and talked abt it so very often, but still.. I’ve never realized that it IS happening. Not until my 25th birthday or somewhere on the way to it. There are TOO may single, beautiful, smart and successful young ladies running around the city, and yet there are no sign of existence from any single, eligible, smart and successful young men around.. What is this all about anyway???

I’ve come up with several scenarios, which is :
Girls, you’re simple TOO picky !! Remember, we don’t stay young forever, the wheel’s turning and time’s running out.
There are no sign of their existence because they simply don’t exist (around us single female at abt the age of 25-ish, especially MY crowd)
All we have around is nice, smart, successful young and MARRIED male. And MEANWHILE, the eligible single males are too busy looking about the garden and don’t have even the smallest intention to pick pne flower and keep it forever. If you can have them all in one garden, why should you keep only one?? They’ll grow old and die eventually (yeah right, and you don’t??)
They’re stupidly became afraid of our aura of power and success-ness and smart-(ass) ness. Gee.. They ARE stupid..
The eligible single males are more interested in their career, or playing around with younger, less married-able girls.

So what can we do about these scenarios?

There are two options, that is :

Go find yourself a widower
Go find yourself a young, eligible, single, mother-complex male

This is, of course, pathetic, considering how smart and beautiful and successful we are. Am I exaggerating things or what..?? But I don’t think so. There’s always time and space for pre-cautiousness. And going through the second half phase of the twenties is hard you know. Especially when you’re depressive and all of your girlfriends are married. But even when they’re all single, you’ll be equally pathetic. And that’s about one of the difficulties of living in this second phase.

And speaking of the twenties, let me tell you something you might find useful.

At the first phase (which is around 20-25), you’re at the top of the world. You think you have all the young, single, smart, eligible males under your feet, begging for a little piece of love and affection. But time flies, and if you don’t pick one right away, or try to make the best out of it, you’ll get some difficulties in getting through the second phase. And most unfortunately, the rest of the other phases. So I suggest you girls to emphasize your best effort on this first phase of the twenties.
And so, as for me, being at the beginning of my second phase and not single, I miss the old feeling of longing and waiting for my prince charming. I know this is too much for a girl at my age, but I really do miss those feelings. I want to find someone that feels oh so right from the very beginning. I want someone I adore with all my heart and soul. I want someone who adores me even more (YAY!!). I want someone that can make my heart melt and start singing. I want butterflies in my tummies. I want someone I can connect to, heart-brain-soul-genitals. I wanted to find and meet and be with my perfect man. The man I love, and may not be perfect for others but he’s everything to me. And me to him.

And all of those has brought me to the end part of this doodles. Out of mind thoughts, materials I typed too fast while I’m high on OBH Combi at 1:18 PM, feeling so very sleepy and wanted to lay my head at the pillow but my fingers just won’t let me do it because my brain still have something to say and write. And my ears just caught this really beautiful tunes that just remind me of my good old days from the first phase (of the twenties, surely).

Eventually, for the great ending of this madness and delusional writings, I’ve two resolutions for 2006. First, that is to find me self a new boyfriend (or some part time boyfriend, I don’t care) other than my present ones. Secondly, is to start writing another.

"Love and marriage..
They come together like horse and carriage... "

.......... My favourite tunes :D

Anyway.. It seems like every girl's dream to be married... Or at least that how I see it..
Now every successful love songs always have the word marriage in it. In every form. As verbs, adjectives, attributes, subjects, objects, jeez... they're EVERYWHERE !!!

And is it a sheer coincidence, that these months are also marriage months. Marriage season, should I say..

And so I shall predicted, that next year, at the very same months, will be babies months. And hell, probably there'll be songs about babies then...

What do we seek in a man..?
How do we know that he will be our soulmate?
Does everyone would meet their soulmates?
Would everything end up happily ever after?

Sometimes we feel that everything's isn't enough..
But sometimes we feel that everything is fine, and everything would be ok..
And we get confused between the two

What is love anyway..?