A place where I can live, breathe, talk and see

A beautiful short movie that I'd definitely have to share with everyone. :) Remember to love your parents people! :)



via http://goodlorax.blogspot.com/

Today, once again, I was being reminded that human is thoroughly helpless. We can only pray, and hope, and keep a good strong faith on whatever it is that you want.

And let God do the rest.

A few days ago I was so worried, about him, about his father, and how it will affect him, me, us, and it makes me even more sad and worried when I saw him so sad, restless and seems to be holding such a huge burden, but there`s nothing I can do to relieve his agony. I feel so helpless and I keep on wondering when does all this will end and how it will affect our future plans, for it will.

But then, when I already lose faith and prepare for the worst, suddenly everything is getting better.

Rapidly!!

I just can`t believe it, and all I can do is whispering my thanks and gratitude to God.

Really, all you need is a strong faith and a great deal of positivity and everything is going to be alright. :D

But even that simple task is pretty heavy for my insolent soul. Because we humans never know what`s good for us even if it was slapped into our faces. It shames me in seeing how impatient and narrow minded I can be some (most of the) time. :-S

But now that things are looking good, I`ll just keep on praying that it will stay like this for quite a long time.

Thank you God. :)

Having lived away from my family for 14 years, still it doesn't turn me into a goodbye expert.

I still hate goodbyes, I still have and hate the empty feeling deep inside at the corner of my heart, and I still feel all teary-eyed.

And now, having to go through with it every month, is even more painful than usual. I thought I'll get used to it. But I was wrong. *sigh* It makes me want to stay with him even more. And misses him even more. And I seriously wondering how can my sister & my best friend manage to go through this for years .. :-S


*Or maybe this is it just my hormones talking .. *

I looked up to my Mother. I think she’s a very graceful lady, strong, powerful, a natural leader, yet very social and likable. I always wanted to be like her. She’s (originally) not very pretty. But she’s attractive, and only with a light (but right) make up, it can lighten up her face and make her looked very pretty.

I liked watching her doing make up. I like to see her face changes, and when she already fully dressed, seeing how graceful she is, and I always thought, will I ever be like her?

I then looked at the mirror, and thinks, how ugly I am. I’ll never be as graceful, as social, and as likable as she. I’ll never get to be a natural leader like her because I’m too shy. I was more like my Father, physically and personally, but not as smart.

My Mother has all the EQ, and my Father has his high IQ. They’re a perfect match, though naturally very different in so many ways. But I inherited none of the good things.
I’m a mixed of the entire negative thing my parents has. Well, I’m not always THIS negative, but that thought came to my mind pretty often.

As a child I was in the verge of abnormally-quiet. I’m so shy and quiet, I didn’t even say a word when I realized that there’s a cockroach, just died because I stepped on it (obviously!), inside my shoe. And I carry that cockroach in my shoe all day in school, hoping that nobody would realize the strange smell coming out of my shoe..

But as I grew up I have more friends, and I became less neither shy nor quiet. And soon after I graduated, I’ve my first serious relationship (not just a fling or a desperate attempt to have one although we both know it’s not possible..), and I feel my confidence escalated. Not too high, but enough to learn about all the social skill required. And then I get to know make up. I mean not just knowing, but really KNOW. Well, not 100% knowing, but enough. I learn that I too can look pretty. And I too can be as graceful as my Mother. I think that’s my turning point. In fact, I think I inherited my Mother’s gracefulness. And how my face can also be lighten up by using the right make-up, and my strength and power. I’m not as social and likable as her, but I’m still happy with who I am, and I have my good friends to support me. And I know I’m not a natural leader like her, but as my career grew higher I think I can learn about being a leader along the way. And right at this point, I can look back and see how I grew up, and I really appreciate the process. And the most important thing is that I can make my parents proud of me.

The idea of heaven, for me, in this world, is to be able to live independently, to live a pure life, totally unspoiled by the corrupted and polluted world.

I'll live in my own island, work for no one but still able to make a good and proper living, I'll grow my own vegetables, raise my own chicken and cow for egg and milk.

I'll make contacts with my neighbors for sure, I'll still shop for some things in the nearest traditional market or supermarket (which one comes first), I'll still be going to the big city, when it's really really necessary.

My friends will be the humble yet smart and non-fussy ladies, whatever their job is. We'll talk about our kids, family, jobs, vegetables, flowers, recipes, cows and chickens. We live with love, we don't have enemies, we left our front door open most of the days.

My kids will be raised by me (and my husband, of course..) and taught by Mother Nature. Nature is their playground, and they don't watch TV more than an hour a day.

What a beautiful place to live in, what a happy and fulfilling life it'd be..