A place where I can live, breathe, talk and see

Having lived away from my family for 14 years, still it doesn't turn me into a goodbye expert.

I still hate goodbyes, I still have and hate the empty feeling deep inside at the corner of my heart, and I still feel all teary-eyed.

And now, having to go through with it every month, is even more painful than usual. I thought I'll get used to it. But I was wrong. *sigh* It makes me want to stay with him even more. And misses him even more. And I seriously wondering how can my sister & my best friend manage to go through this for years .. :-S


*Or maybe this is it just my hormones talking .. *

I just realised how much I hate airports.

Maybe I'm just being sentimental, but that's what I feel right now. Taking my baby brother to the airport, and having to say goodbye, it's just the hardest thing. I hate goodbyes, and basically I hate all the places where we should experience it. Especially with those close to our hearts. I always have this lonely, sulky, sinking feeling each time I leave those venues, more often are airports.

And with all those many shopping places, restaurants, executive lounges, are they supposed to make our goodbyes easier? It sure isn't working for me. The designer of these airports should've come up with better ideas you know. They should've known that none of these material things matters when we're separated with those close to our hearts. Maybe instead of more retail spaces, there should be more free world-wide payphones, mosques/ chapels or meditation spaces, or maybe if they really can't do anything to lessen the pain of goodbyes, at the very least they should've made the fastest getaway path out of the building, instead of making me walk through the long, out of proportioned and empty hallways, taking a few minutes sky train rides, went up and down the long escalator.. Instead they should've made a magical glass elevator like Willy Wonka's, that can transport me anywhere in a zap.

Oh well..

Pernah ngga ngerasain kekosongan jiwa?
Pernah ngga berada di titik dimana kamu sudah punya segala sesuatu untuk disyukuri tapi tetep aja nggak bahagia..?
Seperti ada bagian dari jiwa kita yang hilang..

Well I have.

Terasa sejak pertama kali pindah ke Jakarta.
I thought it’ll pass, but it gets worse instead. Jeez..
There’s something missing in Jakarta.
The infamous city for its merciless nature; the weird habits and the wannabees ..
Really it’s not a friendly place to live..
And if you really can find your little piece of heaven here then, well, consider yourself lucky.