A place where I can live, breathe, talk and see

I just recently watch the Sultan Hamengku Bowono X interview with Andy Noya in Metro TV. It's a very inspiring and open minded interview.

He said that the world now is measured only by materialistic figures, and not by its humanity and religiousity, as it's supposed to be anymore. It hits me, because that's exactly how I felt. It's been on my mind for a while, and until now, I feel like something has gone wrong with me.

Is it just me? Or the world has gone totally crazy? I don't know what's wrong and what's right anymore, and I just don't know the words to express it.

Even my parents-- in relation with their obsession to see me working for PU-- I felt their dissapointment for me. To me, within their dissapointment I feel like they see me as a failed being, just because I couldn't make as much money as my cousin (who worked for PU, of course..) I felt bad about my parent's dissapointment, and I'm sad because they can only see me from that 1 point of view. Although I couldn't make as much money as my cousin, I'm still a good person like they've grown me to be. I'm honest, I'm smart, I've a good sense of design, I'm not corrupt, I'm happy, I care a great deal about the environment.. I'm a responsible citizen, and I am a good and happy person no matter how much money I can make. Can they just understands it? They still think that people without money is crippled in this society. No matter how good, how smart, how religious, how honest they are. And that kind of point of view just upsets me.

I hate the feeling they give me, I don't know, probably they'd feel it as their own failure or mine. But still a failure nevertheless. And I feel guilty for it. And I know I shouldn't! And they shouldn't also. It's just this materialistic and capitalistic ways of life has driven us all crazy, and forgetting the true meaning of why we're here. And what we're supposed to do in this world.

And in relation with the Sultan's interview, I'm touched with his honesty, his wisdom and his (trying to be) purity. He's fully aware of what his birth-right and lifetime super political power has brought him, and he knows exactly how to use it, wisely. That is to serve the community. It's very simple and I've heard it like a thousand times, but not until now did I realise how difficult that is. I think that the Sultan is raised to think of himself a servant for the community. To think that as a person with high position and super political power, he must be strong and selfless. Like a cup, to be fully functioned, it must be emptied first. Then he can be fully useful for others. That's just simply magnificent, and I hope that if everybody with power in this country can think like that, then Indonesia will have high hopes to be one of the leading superpowers of the world.