A place where I can live, breathe, talk and see

Besok mulai long weekend Natal. Mulai liburan yang semoga bisa benar- benar membuat relax dan santai. Di kepala rasanya kosong, tapi hati sesak sekali. Banyak hal yang membuat gusar, berpikir, tapi trus nggak mau mikir, mengalihkan perhatian ke hal- hal yang lain, denger kabar- kabar aneh yang makin bikin hati sesak, dan kepala jadi mulai ikut bingung..

Pengen umroh, pengen beli ini, beli itu.. Aduuh banyak sekali maunya.. Susah sekali terwujudnya..

Seperti memang ada sesuatu yang mau keluar.

It's been on my head these past weeks but I couldn't get it out just yet. You know, like the terrible urge to sh*t but you couldn't do it yet, not until the right time, after it has reach certain point of density.. And yesterday, on an article in Sunday paper, the words just hit me.

Poverty (Miskin)
The World Bank reports that 49% of the entire population in Indonesia lives in poverty and/or on the verge of poverty... ..We can no longer accuse fate as the cause of our difficult life, as there are options and opportunities opening wide everywhere. But it's because of the foolish egocentricism of the political power holder that often blocked these opportunities.

So it explains everything.

Starting from my needs for a faster computer. A laptop. FYI, to buy a laptop which meet my needs will sucked up almost my entire savings. And after that, I'm penniless. Poor. My 3 years of working savings, will be gone. Only for a laptop. Well, luckily I do still have other savings. But it's considered untouchable, because I keep that for a greater future needs.. ;))

While my friends who lives (work/ study) abroad goes taking a trip around Europe twice within 3 months period; or easily bought a laptop with their 1 month salary out of a part time job as a waitress.

I feel miserable.

I can't even afford to buy my essential needs. And especially computer, in this era, which shouldn't be a thing of luxury. Well, laptop is only slightly pricey.. And God knows I've a lot more other important needs than laptop.

I need to plan ahead, and I couldn't do it without a saving. If it took me a year of saving to buy a laptop, then after how many years can I have my own house? Car? And how am I suppose to raise my children? Send them to the best schools? How many years should I save for all that?

And I came to a conclusion that this country couldn't give me the opportunities and support I need. It has failed me, and it has failed the entire population...